Dinner Time

Just eating is enough.
I tell myself.
Maybe it’s the same meal thrice daily,
But that’s HUGE!
I tell myself.
I’ve gone from nothing,
To eating, eating, eating.
The same food,
With a beta blocker chaser.
Finally, it has started to feel safer.
Finally, I thought I could venture
To that now unknown room,
The Kitchen
And prepare something else…
Something safe…
I assemble the vegetables.
I take out the knife,
And the board..
And I’m overcome.
That is as much as I can do today.
I’ll wait for calm,
Then I’ll eat the same thing,
From the same bowl,
With the same spoon,
The monotony doesn’t bother me,
But the fact that I believe myself
Intelligent & often capable,
Yet I see (safe) broccoli and cry
Bothers me deeply.

This entry was posted in anorexia, Eating Disorders, Mental Health, Recovery and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Dinner Time

  1. jfb57 says:

    Don’t be bothered Pooks. You are making HUGE steps. So proud of you!xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Graphic and well-described. I’m rooting for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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