Not Yet Good Enough

My best is not yet good enough,
I try, and yet I fail,
I eat and eat and yet I’m thin,
You tell me that I’m frail.

I’m frail of body, frail of mind,
I don’t know what to do,
I work and eat and work some more
And then I visit you.

My brain too starved for therapy,
We skirt around the issue,
And problems that are decades old,
Are whispered into tissues.

I need to change, you think I can,
But first I must gain weight.
But eating more or differently’s
Too hard to contemplate…

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This entry was posted in anorexia, Eating Disorders, Mental Health, Recovery and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Not Yet Good Enough

  1. God, I can so relate to this Pooky. It’s like a huge catch 22 situation isn’t it – you want to change, but you need to gain weight to be able to function to understand therapy, but you can’t gain weight, because you don’t have the skills to do so without therapy!!! It’s so, so awful isn’t it, and there’s no easy way out of it. Sending you loads of love and massive hugs, holding your hand all the way xxxxxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • PookyH says:

      So sorry you can relate. I think the hardest thing is that I thought I was doing well because I’m largely managing to eat three times a day. But it’s not enough and I’m not sure I can do more.

      We shall battle on though Annie. I know *you* can do it. You inspire me every day. I’m thinking of you. Xxx

      Like

  2. jfb57 says:

    I’m convinced that knowing what the situation is, has to be in your favour to eventually conquer it so KEEP GOING! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rayne says:

    Oh I love this. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It is the most excruciating thing ever…I remember it well, but also remember when it began to BE enough…when you think you can’t do more, you always can, somehow…the memories of this are spurring me on to keep consuming what I need to through this patch I’m going through at present – it may not be ‘easy’ or ‘enjoyable’ like it has been for me the past few years, but I am definitely believing that it WILL be like that for me (and for YOU, Pooky) again…the old adage ‘recovery is not linear’ has to keep replaying so we don’t take the steps backwards as more than they are…thinking of you constantly…xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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