How I wish I could
Not eat
But not lose weight.
I watch my bones grow outwards,
Morphing my body
Into a mass of jagged angles.
No longer do I welcome this;
Though once I did.
I want to be cuddled
Without recoil;
To sit,
Without need for a cushion,
To enjoy the summer sun,
Without shivering.
I do not
Want to eat.
Food terrifies me so,
It taunts and taints me,
My undeserving lips
Clamping shut to every morsel.
If only I could
Not eat,
But not lose weight
Then life could resume.
It isn’t so.

This entry was posted in anorexia, Eating Disorders, Mental Health, Recovery and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Quandry

  1. jfb57 says:

    No, it isn’t so & you know that. Gentle steps & chocolate drinks!


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