Fear of Food

Holding tight to the edges of reality,
I think of food.
It is the keeper of a kingdom
In which I see myself;
A place with love and hope,
A place where futures bloom.
Futures that are futile if not fed.

And yet,
The thought of food
Sends me spiralling
Out of the room,
Unable to cope,
Panic stricken,
Sick with fear.
How can food hold that power?
And yet it does.

I try.
How I try.
So many safe foods almost bought,
An hour taken talking myself
Into trying..
Only to fail
Again.
They say this is an illness of control.
Perhaps
But who’s controlling who?

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This entry was posted in anorexia, Eating Disorders, Mental Health, Recovery and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Fear of Food

  1. jfb57 says:

    You will get back control but you need to be gentle on yourself at the moment. You are under a lot of stress from elsewhere so don’t take this battle on. Keep up those chocolate drinks and buttons so that you can concentrate on the to-do list you have xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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