An Invitation to Dinner

Will you be joining us for dinner?
You say.
I say
‘No’
And I look at the floor.
I know that I should,
But I don’t think I could,
Days are long,
I can’t take any more.

For you it’s a pleasure,
So you’re taken aback,
And you try to persuade me to come.
But believe me,
That when every mouthful
Brings pain,
Thoughts of dinner,
Bring no thoughts of fun.

I can do it alone,
Just about,
On most days,
If I eat the same things,
In the very same ways,
With the same tiny spoon,
From the same bowl each day.
One day I might change,
But today’s not that day.

If I tried to eat dinner with you,
I would cry.
I would try and I’d fail,
And I’d cry as I tried.
And I’d know that I’d let myself down
And you too,
So the answer is no,
I won’t sit up with you.

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This entry was posted in anorexia, Eating Disorders, Mental Health, Recovery and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to An Invitation to Dinner

  1. This is probably the most relatable (and strangely far too accurate..) thing I’ve seen in a while. I was in this very same situation today (and most other days) when the staff ask me to come into the dining room. I can also only use specific cutlery (including teaspoons only) and certain bowls. Thank you for writing this, I hope you’re okay,
    Anna xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jfb57 says:

    The rest of us have no idea how hard this is & how difficult we make it for you. The more we can get this knowledge out, the more ‘proper’ support we can give you. Hugs xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Michael says:

    So often your poetry educates me about what goes on in that mind of yours.
    I received your book today, in English too…lol…..so now I see there was a method in all those poetry prompts you ran a year or so ago….I would like to give it a good read and maybe see if I can write a review for you…..I love the approach you have taken in it……poems and discussions I would have used it in my teaching for sure as I believe poetry is a wonderful source of discussion. I hope it does well for you…..

    Like

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