Clay Feet (a poem about recovery)

The worst step is always the next one,
The path that I’ve never yet walked;
The first step was almost impossible
The day that I finally talked.

The day that I said I was drowning
That everything wasn’t okay,
I honestly thought things would never
Feel worse than they felt on that day.

But the next step was so far from easy,
The bit where I asked for support
This step meant admitting ‘I’m broken’
My mission came close to abort.

But I thought that the help of professionals
Would make the road smoother for me.
That a shrink and a few hours of talking
Would magically set my mind free.

I was wrong and these steps are the hardest,
Whilst I work very hard to let go
Of the things in my life that are dangerous,
And fill those I love with deep woe.

Changing is painful and frightening
Finding a new way to be
Maintaining my weight, no self-harming
Learning to take care of me.

I pick up clay feet and keep walking,
In the knowledge the next steps I take
Will be harder by far than the last steps,
Will leave fear and pain in their wake.

But it’s taken so long to walk this far,
Where I came from is miles away,
I cannot yet see the horizon,
But I’ll wave to you from there one day.

This entry was posted in Anxiety, depression, Eating Disorders, Life Lessons, Mental Health, Recovery, self-harm and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Clay Feet (a poem about recovery)

  1. I can’t wait to wave back to you from the horizon. You’ll get there, just take things one little step at a time. Sending all my love xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yu/stan/kema says:

    Great poem, Pooky.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Your depth of honesty takes the breathe from my body. I shall get someone to drive me to the sea and I’ll wave across the ocean when the time is right for you.
    Love you, Pooks. xxx

    Liked by 3 people

  4. wbdeejay says:

    Wonderful Poem. I’m glad that you are being shown the steps to take, as difficult as they all feel. Even though my path is different, I think as I stretch out that my hand can reach yours and support you on this journey. xxx

    Liked by 3 people

  5. This is so beautiful and just what I needed in this moment, thank you. It answers a question that has been destroying me- whether its all worth it

    Liked by 2 people

    • PookyH says:

      I hope so…. It’s so hard though, i’m having to work hard to try to imagine where I’m going to make the misery of right now worthwhile. Sinking back into old behaviours which will numb the pain is so tempting but it’s not a real answer.


  6. Reblogged this on BethCanReflect's Blog and commented:
    Beautiful and just what I needed to read.


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