Recovery? 

Departing her room
For the very last time,
She sank to her knees
And she cried.

She cried for the things
She had said
And had done,
She cried at the way
She had lied.

But now she was free
She had cheated the scales
And now she could
Go home and starve.

‘Til the curves went away,
And away they would stay,
She would lie, she would cheat,
She would starve.

As she left that dark place
With her case in her hand,
A small voice in her head
Asked her
Why?

But the voice went unanswered,
Unloved
And unheard,
The voice left her wanting to cry.

Her life was a mess,
Every meal a stress,
And everyone thought
She was fine.

She was not fine but fat,
But she’d soon have fixed that
But still the small voice
Asked her
Why?

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This entry was posted in Eating Disorders, Mental Health, Recovery and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Recovery? 

  1. Angharad says:

    Oh wow, I can totally relate to this – ‘her life was a mess…and everyone thought she was fine’. It’s so frustrating how someone can be so ill and yet present themselves as being ‘fine’ whilst hiding the deadly invisible illness. You’ve really nailed this one! X

    Liked by 1 person

    • PookyH says:

      thank you – but sorry you can relate. sadly it’s not that hard to hide how you feel when people are hoping for a different answer…

      How are you? xx

      Like

      • Angharad says:

        You’re right, it’s definitely not hard to hide, and you don’t want to disappoint people with the ‘wrong’ answer. I’m not too bad, in all honesty, the last few weeks have been pretty grim, terribly tough, but I’m fighting to see the other side! I hope you’re ok! Xx

        Like

      • PookyH says:

        Sorry to hear it’s been Such a grim time. Is the other side in sight? Let me know if I can help you find it. I’m rooting for you. Xxx

        Like

  2. Reblogged this on FleshSeemsThicker and commented:
    The way this is structured is really lovely, and I think it is a true picture of what individuals could be going through anonymously…

    Like

  3. Omg…i just posted something which kind of relates to this poem Pooks…although your poety skills are way above my writing skills :p U are unbelievably talented x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lying and cheating to starve. Ain’t that the brutal truth of it. Now I’m older, I can’t lose weight no matter how hard I try. I presume my body’s taken guardianship over itself, since I keep abusing it. And there’s no understanding it…. understanding ‘why?’. Such a thoughtful poem.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. sumyanna says:

    Wow . . . Very powerful writing. I really liked this. Definitely understand the struggle. Aren’t we always trying to live up to someone else’s ideal . . . No matter what it might be. Every day . . . It is a struggle to be me – but I’m going to keep on fighting.

    Liked by 1 person

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