Goodbye – a poem for #EDAW2014

After the emotion’s spent,
And no more feelings left to vent,
There’s only one more thing to say,
Goodbye my angel – wend your way
To happy places, free of fear,
And know that as we shed our tears,
We’re missing you, but we are glad,
That you’re no longer feeling sad.
We know it hurt you, every day,
To live, well half-live, life this way,
We tried to help, but didn’t know,
How to make your problems go.
We fought so hard, but didn’t win,
Your demons wouldn’t let us in.
We’ll miss you every single day,
Remember all your special ways,
Hold the older memories dear,
And wish the happy you were here.

Goodbye - a poem for #EDAW2014

The final poem in my eating disorders awareness week series was inspired by hearing of a life stolen by anorexia. A 21 year old girl who lost her battle last night. This poem is for her, and her family and for anyone who has ever lost a child or a loved one as a result of a mental health problem. My heart goes out to you and I promise to do all I can to protect other people’s children. It’s my life mission.

This entry was posted in Death, Eating Disorders, Emotions, Mental Health, Parent-Child, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Goodbye – a poem for #EDAW2014

  1. helen cruse says:

    Perfectly beautifully put.

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  2. That is a beautiful poem. I hope it brings a little comfort to her family.

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  3. Garry Fowler says:

    Yes, this one is really really sad, but I’m still glad I read it. It’s sad for the individual & their loved ones and a sad reminder that not everyone can be saved. But it also made me think about those people I care about and who I’ve tried to help, who have beaten their ED demons and moved on. Because I’m an honest person I’ll also say that one unexpected consequence of that moving on is that sometimes people no longer wish to keep in touch as they’re leaving that part of their life behind them.

    Keep up the good work Pooky because there are so many who need your help & advice. Proud of you x

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    • PookyH says:

      Thank you Garry – I think it’s important for people to move on sometimes. I can’t remember how we got back in touch but an important part of my recovery was leaving that BBC message board. I felt it too hard to move on and made a clean break – you’re not in a position to support others until you are well yourself and if you can’t suppport then their illness and your inability to help drags you back down. SO likely, I was one of those who left you but I’m very much glad that we’ve been back in touch these last few years and that we’ve both had far happier times too xxx

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      • Garry Fowler says:

        No no, Pooky, that wasn’t meant to apply to you. I certainly don’t remember thinking that you’d left me. Besides which, you gave me loads more support on the BBC board than I ever gave you. Interesting you should mention that you needed to leave to move on. I remember talking to my counsellor that she only had one EDer on her books at a time as they took such a mental toll on her. And here was you and I, amongst others, trying to help many suffers at once without any training!! I suppose, being frank, I am just being selfish. I suppose I wanted some thanks or recognition from those who I helped ‘talk down’ in the middle of the night, or whose txts I answered immediately. But I should be happy that they’ve left their EDs behind and moved on, and I am.

        Me too, I’m so glad that you’re part of my life and feel very proud & privileged to have you as a friend xx And your girls’ antics are a constant joy to Rovie & me 🙂

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  4. wbdeejay says:

    So respectful and loving Pooky, beautiful. Also very personal for me I could relate to these words with my father’s passing.

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    • PookyH says:

      I found this hard to write but sometimes I think it’s important not to shy away from the hard stuff, right? How are you managing now, in respect to your father? I imagine that pain will remain a constant in your life for quite some time to come? *hugs* x

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      • wbdeejay says:

        Very important to tackle the hard ones!
        There is a lot of love to feel, especially looking through old photos/slides, and discovering little collections he kept around the place (old shavers collection for example) and some days, like today is, due to my background emotional state, it is painful and teary (dry tears).

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      • PookyH says:

        That must be hard – but like the hard poems, it’s probably important not to shy away from it, don’t you think?

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      • wbdeejay says:

        Agreed. Avoidance has never helped me in the long term. Just lately I’m struggling to attend to myself during these moments, and I know that’s not ideal.

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      • PookyH says:

        but it’s good that you can recognise that – an important first step x

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  5. Thank you Pooky. I am even more determined to carry on helping families in the South East beat this insidious illness. As my son said after his recovery “If we can help one family it will all have been worthwhile. xx

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    • PookyH says:

      I couldn’t agree more – it’s hard work, really hard work some days, but you only need to touch one life and yours will have been well spent.. and I’ve no doubt you’ve touched many, many more xxx

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  6. Pooky, this poem and, A Father’s view, cut very close to the bone for me. Ken’s illness was different, but so many of the feelings are the same. I find I have too much to say so I’ll just say thank you for being brave enough to write about the hard stuff. Although it’s often painful it needs to be brought into the light.
    Love
    Tricia xx

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    • PookyH says:

      I thought about you a lot when I wrote this Tricia. I found it really hard to write and could not begin to imagine the pain you have been through (are going through) I did not want to even start to imagine it, though inevitably, writing something like this makes you understand, just a little bit. I love you dearly but I hope never to fully understand or experience this part of what makes you you…

      Love you so much and thank you for all your support and for just being you x

      Like

  7. nancytex2013 says:

    Carol from Which Way Now sent me your way. So glad she did. This was absolutely, heartbreakingly, beautiful. I’m off to explore a bit on your blog. I suspect I’ll connect strongly to much of your writing.

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    • PookyH says:

      Hi Nancy – bless her, Carol is a star. I love her blog, she makes me smile every day!

      The mother of this girl actually hunted me out at a conference I was presenting at recently and gave me a big hug, it had made it’s way to her via a friend of a friend of a friend who knew her. It’s a small world..

      I’m going to pop over to your place now – thanks for coming by and for commenting. Sorry for the tardy reply. I have one too many projects on at the moment (I kind of always do, it’s a character flaw!) xxx

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  8. This is such a beautiful poem. I cried reading it, thinking of a friend who recently lost her battle. Thank you so much for your words, you’re such a talented, inspirational human x

    Liked by 1 person

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