Can I tell you
I love you
Too often?
Can I wear out,
Or weaken,
The words?
Do my daily
Affirm you?
Or do they just
Make you think
Me absurd?

This entry was posted in Daily Life, Emotions, Family, Friendship, Love, Messages for my Children, Parent-Child, Parenting, Poems about Children, Relationships, To my husband and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Affirmation?

  1. MrsT says:

    I LOVE this … And I think telling and being told only ever affirms x


  2. wbdeejay says:

    Oh, I have wondered this so often too. My belief is that if your words come from the heart (and are therefore sincere) then they do still carry value. But I also think that they have to be accepted by the other side, otherwise their strength is lost.


  3. mtanub says:

    its so open and genuine. love it


  4. I really dont know. But I think maybe we can oversay it. The best way round this one I think, is to show it. Words are words, behaviour says it all I think.thats me anyway! 😊


  5. Wonderful poem, Pooky, on a topic that can be trickey for many people. For me, honest communication is the key to the question this poem asks, because it’s different for all of us. Just as our relationships are different, and it can change over time.
    I am a ‘sayer’, Rod would show more than say. That’s not to say he didn’t like being told he was loved. He knew I’d not had much love as a child and so for me, to be loved was like being given the keys to some magical palace.
    Initially I’d say ‘I love you and I’m so grateful you love me’. He sat me down one day and told me I didn’t need to be grateful for love because he wasn’t doing me a favour by loving me, he loved me because I was loveable. He then told me lots of reasons he loved me. After that I still said ‘I love you’ frequently, because that’s who I am, but I stopped the gratitude bit.
    Rod became more demonstrative as the years went by. He developed this precious habit of kissing the top of my head each time he walked past my chair. For me that was worth a thousand I love yous. He would give me unbelievably thoughtful gifts – Big Ted was one, and our finally holiday was planned around my love of literature. Every place we stayed had a literary background. His face lit up when he saw my joy at each new surprise. Each day of that holiday I would say ‘Have I told you today what a wonderful time I’m having?’ and he would give me a big grin and squeeze my hand.
    We are all different and the best way to get an answer to the question the poem asks is to discuss it with the one you love. One of the things Rod loved most about me was my outspokeness on all things, including my love for him. 🙂
    Sorry for going on but your poem touched me deeply. xx


    • PookyH says:

      Thank you Tricia – and I adore the poem that you wrote after reading this. That’s a very special memory and a moment (or rather a very long series of moments) to be relived with gay abandon.

      I found it hard (still do really) to believe that Tom could possibly mean it when he says he loves me. But it’s been almost 11 years so I think he probably does mean it 😉 He’s very good at telling me and showing me and our kids are very loving too. We’re a very tactile family. I like that.


      • Pooky, my writer’s group met here last night. I shared my poem and the inspiration behind it, so for a little while you were in our midst, albeit from a distance. 🙂

        Rod and Ken always kissed and hugged each other, and of course I’m one of life’s touchy feely people. In hindsight I think, Rod taught me how to accept being loved unconditionally, and I taught him how to show love. He came from a family of stoics who felt displays of affection were just not the done thing. Ken was born with a loving, giving heart and so we each brought something to the table of love.

        I understand that feeling of finding it hard to believe you are loved. It took me almost 20 years to relax into the knowing of being loved. Now it’s a blanket I wrap myself in daily. xx


      • PookyH says:

        Oooh no wonder my ears were burning! I find the thought of my words being discussed by a writer’s groups quite terrifying!

        “It took me almost 20 years to relax into the knowing of being loved. Now it’s a blanket I wrap myself in daily.”

        ^^please, please, add this to your poetry ‘to do’ list. I absolutely love the images this brought to mind x


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