How can I be the parent my daughters deserve?

How can I give my daughters choices,
Real ones, along with voices
Unafraid of being heard,
Assured an audience,
For their words?
How can I help the world to listen,
And help my daughters’ not to lessen,
Their enthusiasm
For life and learning,
So they don’t lead lives
Full of yearning?
Wondering what if this and that,
Worrying that they’re ugly or fat.
How can I bottle their self-esteem,
Right now, sky high – as it should be.
How can I prevent it being eroded,
Love of themselves slowly corroded?
How can a parent control these things
Whilst also giving their daughter wings?

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This entry was posted in Family, Messages for my Children, Parent-Child, Parenting, Poems about Children, Questions, Relationships and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to How can I be the parent my daughters deserve?

  1. This is so good Pooky. You have a way of being able to put your thoughts on big subjects succinctly.

    You are already the parent they deserve. Unfortunately eventually, we cant protect them from the outside world and all the experiences they will have therein, and if we could, it wouldnt be healthy for them in the long run. . All we can do is give them the values we believe in, keep a close eye on them and the rest that is out of our control has to be left alone. But we will always be there to fight their corner as they come across injustices, and they will, but if their values, the ones we pass on, are strong and certain, they will shine through.

    I can say this more easily now, having gone through those crucial years , but believe me its by no means a walk in the park. And I am now reminded of those difficult times with the next generation but I have to leave all that goes with it to our daughter who is feeling exactly as you are now. So I do totally understand! Xx

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    • PookyH says:

      Thank you – I seek a lot of comfort in the thought that many others have walked this walk and thought these thoughts though it all feels like a slightly too exciting adventure some days!

      Often I find writing these worries or thoughts down helps me to understand and contain them. I’m not sure what I did before. Perhaps I just worried…

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  2. Excellent Pooky and I couldn’t help but think of this video I have used several times of Sarah Kaye’s performance poetry piece:


    It a good one on a number of levels and I have used it as a stimulus with students in the past.

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  3. txbutterfly3 says:

    You are doing the most amazing job. I wish I had a Mom like you when I was growing up. xx

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  4. wbdeejay says:

    Quite a balancing act I imagine 🙂 I believe in giving them a loving safe home to always return to, and teach them how to make wise choices and think for themselves. One day their own personality will dominate, but for now you can still guide them along a promising path.

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    • PookyH says:

      I see myself as a safe base… I figure if I can be a safe base then I’ve done what I need to. That said even the idea of ever allowing them to walk to the end of the road on their own totally freaks me out right now!

      Like

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