Missing Manual

The manual was missing,
When our first child was born.
So we decided to wing it,
And rear what we’d spawn,
Without even a quick start guide.
You might think us mad
But we didn’t know child-rearing
Could quickly turn bad.
She switched on with no problem,
But turning her off,
Proved rather more tricky,
And you may well scoff.
But we really tried everything,
Cuddles and songs,
And reading her stories,
That were terribly long.
We walked her and drove her
And walked her some more.
We tried a cot and a bed,
And a nest on the floor.
And then there were nappies,
And try as we might,
We couldn’t get them on or off
Without quite a fight.
And her bottom malfunctioned,
In horrible ways,
Sometimes the smell lingered,
For hours or days.
And we couldn’t find the button
That turned on her talk.
Equally elusive
Was the one labelled ‘walk’.
After a while we decided,
To venture on line,
To download a manual
(and order some wine)
But all we could find was
Conflicting advice.
To the rest of you
That may come as no surprise.
We’ve had her four years now,
And we’re starting to learn.
But we’d still like a manual,
To which we could turn.
Missing Manual - a poem by Pooky

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This entry was posted in Family, Parent-Child, Parenting, Poems about Children and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Missing Manual

  1. socialbridge says:

    Can’t but smile reading this, especially as I just posted a piece about our 18 year-old and the issue of ‘parenting!!’

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  2. Mayfair Mum says:

    Ha ha! You and every other parent Pooky! Nice poem though x

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  3. Sounds as if she is walking and talking now and you’ve survived the terrible two’s and three’s, so you must be doing something right without a manual.

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  4. lulupoetrycorner says:

    Couldn’t stop laughing at some parts…all so true. Love this poem ๐Ÿ™‚

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  5. Oh I just love this! All of it! You have such talent for rhyme Pooky. You must do a book!
    ๐Ÿ˜Š ๐ŸŽ„ ๐Ÿ˜Š xx

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  6. lulupoetrycorner says:

    I deleted my blog…Wordpress hasn’t deleted my name, so I can still visit…I stay in touch with a friend (awomansaved), whom I share my poems with. She posts them. It’s good to hear from you. Hope all’s well with you and yours. Wishing you a healthy, happy Holiday Season! Lu

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  7. lulupoetrycorner says:

    No! Blogging just got to be a bit much (distracting).

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  8. wbdeejay says:

    I’ve only had secondhand experience with this, but I think we all know *about* the challenges. For some reason the operating system and user interface keeps changing with each new version and subsequently the old manuals tend to be mostly irrelevant.

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  9. lulupoetrycorner says:

    At the time, it was the right decision. I can rejoin at anytime starting from scratch, but not ready yet. I post on FB (public) and for now, I’m ok with that.

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