Is it better to have loved and lost?

A moment lived
With love and hope,
Is worth a thousand more,
Where life is just
An aching hole,
When your love is no more.

The memories
Of good times passed,
Can live for months and years,
And in them we seek solace,
As we blink away the tears.

It’s dangerous
To love too much,
We have so much to lose.
If those we love,
Leave us behind,
It’s then for us to choose…

To dwell on loss,
And misery,
And wish we weren’t apart.
Or think ourselves,
The lucky ones,
Who loved with all our heart.

Is it better to have loved and lost - a poem by Pooky

[This poem is written for my dear friend Tricia, on her birthday. Tricia tragically lost both of her loves, her husband and her son and her capacity to find great joy in sharing memories of these two great men amazes me every day].


*** And here it is beautifully recorded by Karen Lee***

This entry was posted in Death, Emotions, Life Lessons, Questions, Romantic and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

35 Responses to Is it better to have loved and lost?

  1. Memories are a source of solace when one loses a loved one. Sometimes,it is honoring a lost love to find joy in life afterward.


  2. dtdeedge says:

    There is no loss.
    Those memories are etched in the stone of time,
    Not mere souvenirs.
    Whether you remember or not,
    Love was,
    And for that time,
    Love was Everything.


  3. MrsT says:

    What a beautiful poem, a wonderful gift to your friend.


  4. Karen says:

    Gosh, how beautifully written, recording it now and sharing with friends
    K x


  5. randomblurting says:

    Your words are so touching and emotive Pooky. May your friend Tricia find peace and solace (by the sounds of it she seems like a person of strength already). She is blessed to have you as a friend.


    • PookyH says:

      Thank you for your kind words. Tricia is an inspiration to me and many others and a great support too. I wish she were not several continents away and I could have given her a hug rather than a poem though! x


  6. helen cruse says:

    Absolutely stunning piece of writing, Pooky, you have such a talent with words and emotions.


    • PookyH says:

      Thanks H. Your words mean a huge amount to me. I’m really enjoying my poetry challenge. I don’t know how long I’ll pursue a poem a day for… today was day 82 and I’m finding I enjoy it more and more.



  7. words4jp says:

    I need to learn this. I so much need to learn this.


    • PookyH says:

      It’s a lesson Tricia is still teaching me… I sometimes find myself fearful of the love in my life. I’m blessed but I’m afraid of how I’d manage if I lost it…. but Tricia is teaching me that it really is better to have loved and lost. And I’ve slowly come to believe her. x


  8. My dear Pooky, I struggle to find words to adequately express what your precious gift of this heartfelt poem means to me.

    I’ve read the poem several times, aloud as is my way, sat with it as tears of love, gratitude, memories, filled my being. And then I listened to the recording. Pooky it took the breath from my body to hear your words spoken so perfectly. I experienced a sense of being caressed by the gift of loving and being loved.

    To answer the question the poem asks, YES, the giving and receiving of love is, for me, worth every moment of grief. And I do think I’m one of the luckiest women in the world to have experienced such precious unconditional love, and to have an aptitude to love with joyous abandon.

    These days, because of my health, I tend to spend most of my time in one room. I laughingly refer to myself as ‘Miss Haversham with a twist’. My room is not filled with cobwebs and the stale, crumbled remains of a life unlived. My room is filled with sunshine, memories, photographs, books and bears. Yes there are days I ache with longing but there are also days I laugh with joyful gratitude for the living of a life well loved.

    Pooky, I will treasure this poem all the days of my life, and when my time is done I shall ask my family for it to be read at my memorial service.

    Thank you my dear friend. I love you.
    Tricia xxx


    • PookyH says:

      I’m sorry not to have replied before – I’m so glad that you liked this, it’s always a risk giving words as a present in case you get them wrong. It means a lot to me that it means a lot to you and I only wish I could have delivered it in person with a hug.

      I love the thought of you as the alternative Miss Haversham – and I love that you are so open and honest about the ups and downs of the losses you’ve endured. You’re an inspiration and if my foray into poetry has brought me nothing else, it’s brought me you, and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. xxxx


  9. Louise Allan says:

    A truly beautiful gift — Pooky for writing it and Karen for giving a (beautiful) voice to the words. I loved it.


  10. A lovely poem Pooky and a heartfelt tribute too. Xx


  11. Beautiful poem, Pooky, and a wonderful gift to your friend…her losses are heartbreaking and I can’t even imagine what she has gone through…xx


  12. wbdeejay says:

    Most beautiful!

    I think loving
    is definitely
    worth the risk.
    I think loving
    as much as you can
    in each moment
    is worth living.
    I think loving
    is simple
    and living
    is difficult.


  13. Emily Page says:

    As someone much wiser than me once put it “Death leaves a heartache no-one can heal, Love leaves a memory no-one can steal” Much better to focus on the love, than the death and loss, I’m sure. This is a beautiful poem Pooky and I’m sure your friend was very touched by it.


    • PookyH says:

      Thank you – I think I agree with you, but it’s been a hard viewpoint to get to. I am a sucker for really tragic books but they always fill me with fear about how I’d managed if I lost one of my most loved ones.


I'd love to hear your thoughts...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s