Mixed emotions

I love you,

But you drive me mad,
You make me happy,
And you make me sad.
You make me proud,
And then appalled.
Make me kind
And then so cruel.
I love your laughter
I hate your spite.
I love it when you hold me tight.
I hate it when I shout at you
Because I’m tired,
Aching, blue.
I must remember,
That you’re three,
And never take it personally
When your behaviour’s not quite right;
You’re nearly always sweet and bright.

I love you

And you make me proud.
I promise not to shout so loud…
Mixed emotions - a poem by Pooky

 

[Inspired by an especially tricky bedtime.  My girls are usually very good and I rarely shout at them. On the rare occasion I do, I end up feeling utterly wretched.]

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This entry was posted in Emotions, Family, Messages for my Children, Parent-Child, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to Mixed emotions

  1. Morgan says:

    LOL been there 🙂 Very nice!

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  2. Its all part of being a mum! They know we love them, and we are human! I remember this feeling well. And my three have grown into loving, compassionate adults who all know they are still loved very much. And now they are going through the very same thing with their own little ones!

    I love your poems about everyday life and its struggles and joys 😊 xx

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  3. Oh Pooky, this is a wonderful tale of the reality of motherhood. It can give us the most rewarding and the most devastating times we’ll ever experience. As a niece once said ‘You buy a television they give you a 50 page instruction booklet, bring a new life into the world and you get no truly reliable information’ I told her that’s because each child is different and each day is different.

    I’m sure many mothers will relate to your words. And how lovely to have these words to keep for your girls. xx

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    • PookyH says:

      You’re so right… you know sometimes I worry so much about what if something ever happened to them or to Tom and I find myself, just for an instant, wishing I’d not met Tom, wishing I didn’t have my girls because I have so very much to lose now. But it’s only fleeting – it’s important to live for now, right? You of all people would know the true answer to that question…

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      • The thing I have to work hardest on these days, Pook, is not isolating myself. Recognising the difference between my genuine need for solitude, and isolating myself because I don’t want to be hurt any more. I try to prove to myself I can live without anyone, but we all need love and it’s an ongoing battle for me to find the right balance.
        At heart my reality is every moment of my grief is worth the pain because it grew out of a wonderful love, and I honestly wouldn’t give up a moment of that love just to save myself some pain in the present.
        When I watched the video you sent me on depression I felt everything the young man said could apply equally to grief. I feel if we were able to speak more openly about our mortality then we would be able to live more in the present. When we acknowledge and discuss our fears they have less power over us. xx

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      • PookyH says:

        It’s deeply reassuring to know that the love you had was worth the grief you have – SO,so many happy times and so much love to look back on. I guess it’s when you’re soaring highest, you fall hardest?

        It’s interesting what you say about grief, it’s not something I’ve really thought about a lot but it’s certainly something that people seem to shy away from completely, not knowing what to say, often choosing to say nothing or stick to platitudes. we’re deeply uncomfortable with it I think.

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  4. Beautifully expressed Pooky, and we are all human aren’t we.

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  5. Love this. I’m sure we’re not the only mums your words will resonate with. I feel dreadful when I lose it. In our house we can have weeks of apparent calm and then suddenly Little Chap will throw me a curved ball for about a week (like half term) and I am so unprepared I handle it wrong every time! By the time I’ve got a handle on his behaviour, he goes back to his normal, sweet, loving self. I pray regularly that this is the Little Chap who will survive into adulthood! 😉

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    • PookyH says:

      I hear you. Boy do I hear you. It’s exactly the same issue here. My girls are so good and so sweet and so lovely 99% of the time that when they decide not to be it feels so wilful and confusing and I’ve no idea how to handle it!

      No doubt, your sweet happy, loving little chap will conquer the little tike who comes out to play occasionally… x

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  6. Awww that is so sweet!! thanks for visiting my blog too! Your poem captured precious (and some trying) times when my kids were little. Blessings, Oliana xx

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  7. anumshafique says:

    Awww this is so adorable… Love it. I am sure your daughters know that you love them! 😀

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  8. littlesmama says:

    Love! Oh those three year olds. Ha
    I can completely relate!

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  9. bloodnshadow says:

    Love the poem! I can relate as I’m a parent myself (as u knew already). Beautiful and honest poem! Thanks for sharing!

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  10. Well written and true words from a Mom and for any Mom. It takes me back about 15 years! 🙂

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